The Annual Christmas Attack

By the title of this blog, one might concur that a "christmas attack" would be a negative thing. Oh contrare monfrare (or whatever that phrase is). It's quite positive. Christmas attacks for me began as a wee lass when the culmination of all things Christmas would strike and my heart & brain could no more withhold the excitement. Typically my Christmas attacks would be preceded by one of my brothers' own attacks. Witnessing an attack tends to bring one on more quickly.

What does a Christmas attack entail, you ask. Well, thanks for asking. First of all, the lightbulb goes off (figuratively, folks, not literally) and you can see the attack coming just by looking in the eyes of the attackee. All things Christmas have culminated. This means a true realization that Christmas is approaching quickly, that many presents will be received (ok, and given), that delectable food will be devoured (specifically LOTS of monkey bread and sausage balls), that families from afar will come together, that the true Christmas Spirit has come upon you. Then is begins. A little jumping. A little crazy eyes. A little loud grunting. A little arms flailing...and then look out. This is where a couch or bed comes in handy because the attack causes a person to levetate off the ground and ram oneself into the nearest cushiony environment (i.e. couch, bed). Over and over the ramming continues until sweat engulfs and oxygen levels decrease. Then, the attackee rests. The attack has subsided and normal life can continue (although it's usually followed by an attack of a witness).

Haven't had mine this year. I'm getting worried since it's already December 11th and I'm 99% finished with my shopping. Where is the attack? Why is this Christmas culmination not "clicking" yet?

I think I might go put on "It's a Wonderful Life" and sip a cup of hot cider by the light of the Christmas tree. That may speed things up.