Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Hakuna Matata, part 1.

I looked out of the window of my house and saw a shirtless boy doing yard work in the neighbor's yard. I was 16. He was gorgeous. I needed a plan.

So as all girls do, I got on the phone and asked 75 of my closest girlfriends what I should do.

"There is this guy, and he is, like, so hot, and he is, like, basically in my yard, but not really, and I totally need to go out there, but I'm, like, totally nervous. Like, what should I do?"

Please hear 1994 in that phone call.

So as all girls do, they formed me up a plan. I was to clothe myself in my cutest outfit (which was probably some umbros and an XL tshirt), grab a broom and start sweeping the driveway. Surely conversation would naturally ensue.

I did as told and headed out to sweep the driveway of its 4 pieces of pinestraw. Mission failed. No convo.

I go back in, get my girls on 3-way and get a new plan. I head back out to get the mail, as told, and walk ever so slowly back up the driveway, then planting myself in the swing to open up all the mail that wasn't mine. Mission failed.

One more attempt as I decide to take out each bag of trash, separately of course, while inspecting the trash cans by the garage, when....

"Oh hey, I didn't see you there." Lies.

We have introductions. I find out he's the nephew of my neighbor coming over to help him out with yard work since he'd thrown out his back. Major points. His parents call to him as they are leaving so he has to go. Dang.

I let the girls know it was just SO CLOSE. SO VERY VERY CLOSE. But it wasn't meant to be. I'm sure I made a mixed tape about the situation.

Later that evening, I ran down to get something out of my car, when LO AND BEHOLD there's a note on the door.

"I'd love to take you out, call me..."

Um, yes please.

I didn't tell him it was to be my first real date. I didn't want to be the amateur dater. We made plans to see The Lion King on opening night followed by dessert at Chile's. I was giddy.

But there was a hitch.

"Um, I actually don't have a car so do you think you might could drive?"

Stunned. Losing joy of first date expectations quickly. "Can you borrow your parents' car maybe?"

"Well, I'm sorta not old enough to drive yet."

Slam on brakes. DO WHAT?!?!

I couldn't back out. He was a hottie. So what if he had just turned 15. He was taller than me and I was comfortable keeping that info to myself.

Date ensued. I drove up, met his parents at the door, felt like a man, and drove the two of us to the movies.

We sat in the theater with the credits rolling while he sang "Can you feel the love tonight". I know the other girls in there were jealous.

They wanted a Simba to their Nala like I had.


Brooke said...

Ohmygoodness! My inner 16 year old is laughing hysterically. And, yes, a perfect 1994 story. Looking forward to Part 2.

Karen said...

Wow... hadn't thought about that story in years!! Just make sure to leave the DQ, Real World, DB night stories alone...